Okay, so here’s the tea: I was born on January 1st, 1998 (yes, a Capricorn, yes, already exhausted). According to this fancy little numerological trick you can Google in two seconds, my Tarot Birth Cards are The High Priestess (spooky goddess vibes) and Judgement (apocalypse trumpet realness).
So basically, I’m contractually obligated by the cosmos to be psychic and dramatic. And guess what? I just signed a literal spiritual contract with the Most High — yeah, that one — about the future of humanity… in space.
Because why the hell not?
High Priestess Gang, Where You At?
If you’re a tarot reader, chances are you’ve got Big High Priestess Energy — you know, mysterious girl at the party energy. The one who won’t tell you what she’s thinking but probably already knows your blood type, trauma origin story, and what you did last summer. That’s the one.
This message is for y’all. Because I’m apparently part of some cosmic group chat called the High Priestess Collective — and now, unfortunately for all of us, I opened my third eye and Microsoft Word and wrote up a contract.
It’s giving “mystical HR paperwork.”
It’s giving “God made me do it.”
It’s giving “I have no idea what I’m doing but the vibes were immaculate.”
Why Me? Why Now? Why Space?
Look, I don’t know why I was chosen to deliver this divine PDF. I’m just a person who vibes with the moon, spirals into esoteric TikTok holes at 3AM, and occasionally channels intergalactic prophecy in my notes app.
But apparently, humanity is going to space (duh) and someone needed to make sure we don’t forget our souls while we’re out there doing Elon Musk things. So I said, “Sure God, I’ll draft something up.” And here we are.
Tarot Nerd Moment: Birth Cards Explained
If you wanna get all nerdy with it, your Tarot Birth Cards are based on your date of birth. You can look up the method online — it’s literally just math but with cooler outfits. Mine are:
- II – The High Priestess: she’s mysterious, intuitive, probably psychic, definitely has a crystal in her bra.
- XX – Judgement: he’s loud, dramatic, shouts into a trumpet and calls you to your Higher Purpose™ whether you like it or not.
Together they make… me. A cryptic little goblin who receives divine downloads and memes about them.
Okay but Like… What’s the Contract?
Right, the whole point. I wrote (or maybe channeled? Idk anymore) a contract with the Most High — a kinda spiritual Declaration of Intergalactic Intent. It’s about how we, as a species, shouldn’t become soulless AI NPCs as we blast off into the stars. You know, little stuff like that.
Here’s the actual contract, if you’re into sacred PDFs and existential dread:
View the Contract with the Most High About Humanity’s Space Era
And, the Contract That Came Before
What Am I Supposed to Do With This?
If this resonates with you — or even if you’re just a tarot nerd who likes a good cosmic laugh — maybe pull some cards on it. Journal. Stare into space. Argue with your spirit guides. I don’t know.
Just remember:
- You don’t need to have it all figured out.
- You might be part of the High Priestess Collective.
- And yes, God accepts contracts typed in Google Docs.
Peace, love, and lunar downloads,
High Priestess by birth,
Judgement by mistake,
Serving divine chaos since 1998,
Michael Wenas
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